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Weekly Wine & Spirits Columnist - Michael Vaughan

Winning election spirits

(Publishing Date: Saturday November 18, 2000  - Toronto Section)  

So here we are with elections on every front. Fortunately, there’s a perfect spirit for every occasion. First and foremost, there are the pre-election spirits - the things that get you up and running. You know, things like peppery, throat wrenching grappas and potent whiskeys.

I would have loved to have done a comprehensive poll of the candidates’ favourites. Does Day take a wee snort before hopping on his skidoo?  What spirit accounts for Chretien’s pre-election zip or Joe Clark’s smile?

Alas, requests for such vital information was denied. Apparently the candidates felt that such questions were not pertinent to the “real” issues. What they don’t realize is that the appropriate spirit is critical to their victory. And so after countless hours of research and endless tasting sessions - I present my list of essential electoral spirits. And if our fearsome candidates don’t heed my suggestions, they’re victory may well be put in jeopardy.

To get Day’s juices flowing, nothing would beat a shot of the beautifully balanced Mortlach 15 Year Old Single Speyside Malt (Vintages - $89.95). The rather intense, gently smoky, rounded, apricot-plum nose has definite vote-catching attributes.  Firm, dry and elegant, its gently honeyed flavours are enough to bring any potential voter to his knees.

To be politically correct, Day should also relish a nip of a wonderful Polish elixir Zubrowka Bison Grass Vodka a most modest $29.95 at Vintages. With 41% alcohol, this clear liquid evokes the smell of a brand new straw broom, which conjures up the spirited hopeful vision of a clean sweep. Better yet, its elegant, dry, bright, grassy flavours makes for a wonderful change of pace Martini.

As Joe Clark has obviously learned - when you’re smiling, the world smiles with you. At what might make Joe smile is the delicious Italcoral Orangella ($20.95 on the General List). This clear orange coloured liqueur comes in a tall frosted bottle and has a seductively sweet ripe mandarin nose. It’s sweet yet refreshing with fine, persistent, tangy citrus flavours that might well be the perfect elixir to bring the huge Toronto Italian constituency to the Conservative fold.

In honour of his French roots, Chretien’s should salute all Canadians with a delectable glass of Massenez Poire Prisonnier. This stunning, clear, Alsace eau-de-vie comes with an actual pear imprisoned within the bottle perhaps symbolizing his constituents. At 500 ml for $59.80 at Vintages, it ‘s definitely worth the money, especially for well-heeled potential winners. The solid, slightly spicy, very dry, pear purée flavours go on and on.  A great after dinner digestive (40% alcohol) that keeps the blood flowing as the election results roll in.

Also in the French fruit vein but much more elegant is Henry-Gerard Calvados XO (Vintages Holiday Gift Catalogue - $69.90). It comes in a large perfume-styled bottle, which can be stashed, into Madame Chretien’s purse without suspicion. Deep golden amber in colour, it is the essence of mature apple brandy with a lovely, gently spicy, sweet apple purée nose.  On the palate it’s very dry with rounded, autumnal, caramel-apple essence. From Normandy’s best orchards, this Calvados is a guaranteed winner.

And then there are the post-election spirits, the sweeties that soothe the raw nerves and blues of defeat. Stockwell Day’s natural choice might well be my own favourite tipple, Green Chartreuse V.E.P. (Vintages - 500 ml for $37.75). Despite the fact that is comes in an small wooden gift box that looks ominously like a coffin, the 54% alcohol is sufficient to eliminate the severest of pains. As only a few bottles remain, he will have to hurry to pick up this yellowish, lime green coloured spirit. The intense, extremely spicy nose shows cloves, ginger, all spice, star anise, etc.  Its sweet, rich and peppery (54% alcohol) with intense herbal, citrus flavours that take your breath away. V.E.P. means “vieillissement exceptionellement prolongée” indicating that it was aged in wood for a minimum of 12 years.

Finally for Chretien, there’s the sublime new Merrys Cappuccino Irish Cream Liquor with a modest 15% alcohol than can be spoon-fed to every man, woman and child (as long as they are of age). Not only will it will bring sighs of comforted relief, but it’s also on the General List ($21.95) meaning universal accessibility for every constituent. It’s velvety, sweet, perfectly balanced, mellow coffee flavours are pure after dinner perfection – so perfect, in fact, that you’ll forget that an election ever took place.