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Scary Spirits
Finding out what's in the LCBO
is like a Halloween joke gone bad

With Halloween just a few days away, I am tempted to clear out my pantry. I seem to have acquired a number of spirits, which would really scare the hell out of unsuspecting imbibers. You know what I am talking about. That weird bottle of stuff you have never heard of, usually filled with an eerie day-glow coloured liquid.

In some instances it was that “special” present you wish you had gifted to someone else prior to opening and actually trying. Well, fret no more with October 31^st at hand, just take your scary spirits to one of those upcoming Halloween parties.

If you are looking for really frightening things to try, check out the sparkler that comes in a small (200 ml) blood red bottle called Baby Piper. It has an attached straw for sipping, which just about says it all. Fashionable lounge lizards apparently don’t mind shelling out over $20 a pop. The fact that no self-respecting Champagne devotee would ever dream of drinking it is irrelevant.

On the positive side, I feel obliged to report that I was the recipient of several decorative Piper-Heidsieck promotional condoms. It made me wonder, what ever happened to candy? While I am not sure when I will get around to using them, the image of getting lucky by consuming Baby Piper has now been firmly implanted in my mind. And who knows, it may be the ultimate liquid viagra.

Tricks aside, one has to consider the “treat” side of the equation. Fortunately this month’s Vintages release features a repeat of the truly exquisite Appleton Estate 21 Year Old Jamaican Rum. Now I know that $84.95 may be a bit of stretch, but given the money laid out on some Halloween festivities, this drop in the bucket may be perfectly appropriate. The creamy, honeyed, slightly smoky, maple-coconut flavours have that voluptuous aged rum character. Only 870 bottles are available so act quickly.

Looking for something less expensive, then pick up another bottle of Filfar Orange Liqueur at $19.40. It made its Vintages debut last January and there is still a whack of it kicking around various LCBO outlets (call 416-365-5900). While the label is scary, it’s the contents that count - delicious, sweet, rich, cinnamon, all spice and tangy tangerine flavours that go on and on.

Unfortunately, Filfar is just one of many “invisible” Vintages products. In this case, all the remaining cases are whiling away in stores across the province. Like a Halloween joke gone bad, the LCBO steadfastly refuses to provide its customers with a list of products for sale. It means that we can’t find out what worthwhile goodies are still available for sale at the LCBO! This has been going on for years now despite countless protests from customers, agents and suppliers. Surely providing customers with a list of products for sale is the most basic principal of marketing. Worse yet, while these products languish on the LCBO shelves and in the warehouse, we the taxpayers will be footing the storage costs and reduced price clearance bills. How much money did the LCBO lose in last summer’s massive clearance?  

While the list of Vintages products still in the LCBO warehouse is posted monthly on my website (click here to see the current October list of 423 brands), it is often impossible to find them in the stores! A case in point is my best buy and release highlight from last July: the sumptuous Viña MontGras 2000 Carmenere Reserva at only $14.90. Here is a red with a lovely, slightly smoky, lush plum, black cherry, cedar nose and rich, ripe, juicy cherry-cassis flavours.

I recently tasted the MontGras portfolio with visiting winemaker/owner Herman Gras, who founded the winery in 1992 with his brother Eduardo and Cristian Hartwig. Their vineyards holdings consist of 1,100 acres of which 200 acres are planted.  Fortunately, their 2000 Carmenere is just as delicious as before. We were both stunned to learn that there was a whopping 160 cases still in the warehouse. It hasn’t been selling because it isn’t in the stores. A check around Toronto revealed there were only three cases at the Manulife outlet - zero at Queens Quay; zero at Bayview; zero elsewhere. Surely the LCBO must realize that it isn’t going to sell a wine that never sees the light of day. Take British Columbia’s example to heart and give the customers a monthly list of what you have for sale.

Finally, proving that good wines can come in goofy bottles, look no further than the general list where the just-released Eat and Dink 2001 Sauvignon Blanc at $9.95 it making a big impression. It hails from the southern French Cote des Gascogne region and comes in a clear Bordeaux bottle is covered with brightly coloured, smiling fish. The fresh, crisp, ripe rhubarb flavours are surprisingly tasty making it the perfect trick and treat discovery.

Tonight: check out the Calem port wine dinner at $75 per person – 7 pm in Signatures (Hotel Inter-Continental) on Bloor Street West. click here to see the menu (which looks pretty good) along with the list of wines being poured.

Coming up this Wednesday, an almost cheap and cheerful way to sample some of the Classics. Starting at 6:30 pm at the Royal Meridien King Edward Hotel, tickets are $95. To reserve call 800-266-4764. click here to see the list of 66 wines being presented.

Check out the most recent October 9^th Vintages Warehouse Inventory Report

Copyright Food & Beverage Testing Institute of Canada 2004
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Contact Michael Vaughan at
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